Many people who are unhappy in their marriage may ask themselves if it is worth it to stay in the marriage. The answer to that question is complicated, as life often is. In order to discover your personal answer to that question, ask yourself the following questions:
Being a good wife to your husband can help your marriage be stronger, and the relationship work better. Also being a good wife will inspire your husband to be a good husband. The following are five ways to be a good wife to your husband:
Domestic violence in relationships is a very serious problem, and one that is often difficult to not just identify, but also to stop. Many of the victims believe they deserve the abuse, and are unwilling to "betray" their abusers or turn them in. Domestic abuse often goes hand in hand with emotional abuse.
Our traditional model of marriage in the United States has remained stable and unchanged for more than 50 years. We have based our expectations on the relationships of our parents and grandparents and learned our beliefs about marriage based on the need for financial security, continuity and support. As the world changed and more women have had to integrate family life with work life, this model, although traditional, is not geared towards partnership and supporting individual needs.
Fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce, which makes it even more important to learn how to keep your marriage healthy and strong today. Marriages bring together two people who have differing backgrounds, feelings, thoughts and values and expecting them to live together for the rest of their lives. This is bound to cause challenges throughout the years. From young marriage woes of building careers and families, to the empty nest years when couples must reinvent their relationships, there are several tools that can help you and your spouse stay focused on the positive investment you've made in each other over years of trials and accomplishments.
All marriages go through periods of insecurity, changes and challenges. It's how you handle each challenge and face each change that decides whether you save your marriage or let it fail. Marriage is a total commitment to the success of a team over individual accomplishment. You must be able to face each challenge as a team from a unified front in order to find the path to happiness. If your marriage is experiencing a difficult time and you're not sure where to turn, here are some suggestions for how to save your marriage before it's too late.
Building a marriage as a young couple is a challenging adventure. Young couples in their early 20's are at the highest risk for divorce. The statistics drop when people are in their late 20's through 30's because the individual growth curve has started to slow down. Many young married couples are still maturing individually and may not be equipped to deal with the stress and strain of marriage and family life. The challenges that young couples face can be daunting and it is important for young adults to accept and face many of these issues before being able to form a lasting bond together.
Marriage is an age old institution, but that does not mean that everyone has the same kind of marriage. Some people do things one way, and others another. What works for some, may not work for others. For example, a regular date night might work wonders for one marriage, but what about the marriage where the husband or wife is overseas on deployment? Is their marriage doomed to fail because they can't go out to a movie once a week? The following are a few keys to a healthy marriage, and things to do depending on the kind of marriage you want:
If you are married (or have ever been married), the phrase "ungrateful spouse" can pack a real punch. Even the happiest of couples have these types of feelings from time to time. No doubt in any relationship there will be times when the "give and take" of a happy marriage falls out of balance. Some people just stay in "take" mode a little longer than the "giving" partner would prefer. Generally, the intent of one spouse is not to be ungrateful of the other spouse, communication and having an attitude of understanding are two key elements to ensuring that feelings of being unappreciated or undervalued stay in check.
Often after a relationship you have things to remember it by. For example, you may have photographs of time spent together, or ticket stubs of trips, shows, etc. you might have enjoyed, or maybe a stuffed animal, article of clothing, or something of the similar. So, what do you do with them if you are now married to someone else? Do you get rid of them, or keep them?
"Keeping mementos from past relationships once you are married" »
Sometimes in marriage you have to give something you love or hold to up in order to make your spouse happy, and make your marriage successful. While many people do not understand why giving something up would make your marriage work better, it has significant effects on the health of your relationship.
How marriage works: Marriage is a union where you combine two different people, personalities, interests, etc. and try to make them work together. Sometimes the meshing of ideals, etc. is really easy, other times not so much.
However, in every marriage there are going to be some differences of opinions. Some bigger than others. Some are not going to matter very much, and others can be a deciding factor in whether or not the marriage works.
You've most likely heard that marriage is work. And, it is-in order for a marriage to be successful, couples must remember that they're a team and work to make each other happy.
But keeping your marriage strong doesn't need to be difficult. You can strengthen your marriage in ways that won't feel like work to either one of you.
The following are some little things you can do to strengthen your marriage.
Therapy or counseling has helped many families or couples who are dealing with a wide range of problems. With counseling, a couple will sit down with their therapist and discuss the various problems and issues they are dealing with as a couple, then work together to solve them through various techniques.
But is counseling worth it? With the right therapist and the right attitude from the couple in counseling, therapy or counseling can save your marriage. Here are a few things counseling can do that makes it worth the time, money and effort:
Being in a marriage can be rewarding in many ways. You have a best friend, someone that you can rely on and do things with, and also someone that you can turn to when you need help and comfort or someone to talk to. Giving your spouse attention that they need is very critical. Most marriages end in divorce because of lack of communication. The ratio of marriage to divorce is 2 to 1. Below are some ways that can help you to give your spouse the attention they need and deserve.
Start by listening. When your spouse has something they want to talk about, put all distractions aside and give them your full attention. Doing so will show your spouse that they are the most important thing to them. As they talk, listen and take mental notes on what they are speaking to you about. Do not interrupt while they are talking. When they are done, that is the time to speak to them. If you do not agree with what your spouse is talking to you about, be respectful when disagreeing. Let them know that you don't think their opinion is wrong, just different from yours. When you start listening to your spouse, they in turn will start listening to you when you want to talk about something.
Human nature causes us to crave love, attention, and relationships with others. With the alarming rate of divorce in our society, couples need to work harder than ever before to become a better spouse and avoid becoming just another statistic. A healthy marriage is built upon 2 individuals that genuinely love and care for one another. They think of their spouse's needs throughout their daily activities and they do things that will make them happy. Here are some tips to help you choose the right spouse and to be a better spouse:
Tip # 1 - Choose carefully
Choosing the person you marry is one of the biggest decisions you will make in your life. If you are a religious person, you may have been brought up in a loving home where your parents committed to their marriage and their faith. Children of these homes tend to have a stronger commitment to their own marriages as may of them are taught that divorce is not an option unless there is abuse, cheating, or another large problem. When you make the decision to get married, you need to weight it carefully because not everyone is suitable for one another. You may be happy with this person, but you will need to work 10 times harder to make the marriage work.
With the divorce rate continuing to skyrocket couples would do well to consider what they can do to keep their marriage happy long before they run into difficulties. Money, children, job stress and many other factors can stress a marriage and the partners may seem to be drifting apart. It's crucial to realize that your marriage takes some work and some nurturing and that problems are much easier to fix right away then after they have been left to long. Here are some tips for keeping your marriage happy-
There are certain occasions in life that should always be celebrated and a wedding anniversary is one of those! Whether you are newlywed celebrating only a few years together or long time marrieds who have shared a lifetime reconnecting and celebrating your wedding anniversary should be a tradition. Best of all there is no right way to celebrate a wedding anniversary. Depending on your creativity and your budget the sky is the limit. So break out of that movie and dinner rut that you are already in and when that special date rolls around here are some fun ways to celebrate your wedding anniversary-
As you get older, the dynamics of friendship changes. Friends are single or in a relationship. Some friends get married. You may be single or married and have friends on the opposite side of the relationship pool. Once babies are born the friend relationships changes even more. Married friends are heavily involved in their own lives while single friends are still looking for someone to share with. How do you keep your friends close through relationship changes from single to married? Here are some tips to help you get through the tough changes.
Tip #1: Stay Interested.
In order for a marriage to remain healthy and strong, trust has to be one of the foundations of the relationship. Without trust, you and your spouse won't last long. You will be at one another's throats because you don't believe them. When you do not have trust in the marriage, the marriage will suffer in a number of ways. One way is your sexual life. You will also experience intense feelings of jealousy. Rebuilding trust in your marriage is hard and it requires effort and sacrifice from both parities. Here are some tips that may help you rebuild the trust in your marriage:
Tip # 1 - Communicate
One of the biggest reasons why married couples grow apart is that they fail to talk to each other. You and your spouse need to sit down together and talk to each other. Share things that you are interested in or talk about your job. Involve your spouse in your life and let them know how much you think about them and care about them. When you talk to your spouse, you will reduce any worry from your spouse and it will help to knock down one of the walls you have built up about trust.
The relationship between husband and wife is often complex. However, in most cases they are supposed to be best friends, they are supposed to be the first person you turn to for comfort, the person you trust with your secrets, and the person who knows you best. Because of this fact, it is easy to be betrayed by your spouse. Betrayals occur in many ways. Betrayal is not always about cheating, or lying. Sometimes your spouse betrays you by not sticking up for you.
Displaying affection to your spouse while your children are watching is both appropriate and important. It teaches them what appropriate affection looks like and it shows your children a united front. If mom and dad are united then the family is secure and the kids can go about growing up without worry. However, some forms of affection are not appropriate to show to children. Some forms of affection can be scarring for a child when witnessed, even if it means mom and dad love each other. So how do you show your spouse love appropriately when you have an audience. Here are some simple suggestions you can incorporate into your daily life:
Relationships are complex, and they take a lot of ingredients. Trust is one of the main ingredients in marriage. Let's take a look at the element of trust in a marriage.
Married people fight, even people with good marriages fight. Fighting is an expression of strong emotions, and it is okay to fight, as long as you do not let a fight do permanent damage to your relationship. The following is a look at how to make up with your spouse after a fight so that you do not let it damage your marriage:
Sometimes you fight with your spouse and you have good reasons to be mad, but part of having a good marriage is being kind even when you can justify not being kind. The following is a guide to being nice to your spouse even when you don't want to be:
"How to be nice to your spouse even when you don't want to be" »
Before you can figure out what makes a marriage healthy, you must understand what a healthy marriage is to you. To most of us a healthy marriage is where both partners are happy; both partners have trust in each other and feel they are where they belong. It's when we can imagine us happy with our partner, for life.
A successful marriage is just like any other relationship, just a few more aspects added in. Communication skills are used in everyday life, at work, with our friends and families. There are so many ways to build a successful marriage, you just have to take the time and care enough to use them.
Who said marriage was easy? Everyone will tell you there has been at least one rough day in their marriage. Even the happiest couple you can think of has had that day when it all seems completely impossible. Here are a few tips to help you keep your marriage happy. Some of them may be new to you; others may just remind you that they need to be done.
We've all heard the equation YOU+ME=US but none of us really knew what it meant until the day we said "I do." That's when the marriage began, when US means "I can no longer go out with the boys" while "YOU stay home and take care of the massive load of dishes from last night's party." You are now part of a team, and this is an important team that requires hard work, long hours, frustrations and sometimes pain. But this team also gives you love, comfort and a life-partner.
Think back to your soccer or softball team, if you forget that you are part of a team and start playing for yourself it causes problems with all aspects of the team. It's almost impossible to win the game if you aren't communicating, thinking of each other, and helping each other out. Marriage isn't a game and it's not about winning but it does require a lot of the same goals that a sports team does. Each player on the team has to play their part and help out when the other players are not able to take on their full share of responsibility.
You hear in the news that the latest celebrity divorce is over "irreconcilable differences", nothing jumps out saying these two just can't get along no matter how hard they try. All couples have at least one irreconcilable difference that causes conflicts in their marriage. The key to remember, conflicts are a natural and normal part of life and how you deal with the conflict is what matters.
Communication is one of the keys to resolving conflicts and making your marriage work, it is however, just as important to acknowledge that you and your spouse have some problems that may be irresolvable. Once you decide to stop trying to fix what cannot be fixed, you can focus your energy on the good parts of your marriage. Here are some tips on trying to resolve conflicts in your marriage:
When you get married you promise to cherish each other, to care for each other, and to share each other's money. But do you promise to be best friends with each other? Unfortunately many people marry when they are not friends. They might like one another but there is nothing that guarantees friendship in marriage. With all the stresses and strains of life many couples who started out as friends find themselves fighting. It is probably true of even the best marriages that they experience periods of severe difficulty that push couples away from friendship. Many couples are just trying to get through the day; being best friends is not the top priority when you are just trying to get by. If you wake up one morning to find that your spouse is no longer your best friend you need to make some changes. Do not be alarmed but do not be complascent either. Listed bellow are some tips that should help you to make your spouse your best friend again or to make your spouse a best friend for the first time.
Hopefully the one person you trust most in the world is your spouse. The person you married is someone with whom you have made sacred promises and commitments. You promised to be true to each other and to care for each other. Sadly, many marriages end because one or both partners decide to lie to the other. Obviously the most terrible breach of trust occurs when one spouse is unfaithful to the other. This kind of lie completely destroys the love in a marriage and makes the other spouse feel terrible and betrayed. However, there are other forms of deception that can leave a marriage on the verge of collapse. A husband or wife who lies about money or who won't say where they are going are just a few examples. A spouse might have a drug habit that they don't share with anyone else, leading to a sense of betrayal and anger. Lying about the most insignificant of things can also lead to a general lack of trust. If you find that your marriage is suffering from this type of problem consider the following tips for re-establishing trust with your spouse.
So everyone tells you that marriage is wonderful and you'll love it, but no one ever tells you that you might actually have to work at being happy; actually put some effort into the relationship. There are many things that require learning the give and take in a marriage. In order to be happy both individuals need to understand that give and take, and adjust their lives accordingly. Statistics have shown that fifty percent of couples that get married end up getting divorced. A large portion of that percentage is due to individual selfishness and an unwillingness to compromise and learn how to give and take in the relationship accordingly. Here are some helpful tips on learning the give and take in marriage.
Communication
Probably one of the most important elements of a marriage relationship is how you communicate with each other. The way you communicate when you are married, is much different than how you communicate as a single individual. As a single individual you don't have to communicate with anyone about what to eat for dinner, or how you want to clean the bathroom. In marriage everything is communicated physically or verbally and everything you do becomes part of the other person. Both the husband and the wife need to understand how the other communicates. They need to know where the other stands on certain issues and be considerate of the other's feelings. Always keep the lines of communication open and be flexible when issues do arise. Remember that you both have come from different backgrounds and had different ways of doing things before you got married. You will now need to find some common ground.
Keeping your marital bonds strong is one way to make your marriage a lasting one. As the newlywed stigma wears off and couples become busy with their careers and having children, it can sometimes be difficult to keep your marriage a priority. However, keeping your marital bonds strong and making your relationship with your spouse a priority in your life can help you stay happy for the long run.
The following are some ways to create stronger marital bonds.
Establish a tradition.
Traditions are another way you can create a stronger marital bond. Having a ritual you do together helps you to both look forward to something that you share. It doesn't need to be elaborate and can be as simple as a walk after dinner every evening or having breakfast in bed together while reading the paper every Sunday morning.
Introduction
Marriage is a beautiful union that two people share with each other. Marriage can bring a great deal of happiness and satisfaction to a couple, but only if they are willing to work on it. All too often we get caught up in the little or insignificant things in life and unfortunately our spouse gets pushed off to the side for a moment. Learning how to not sweat the small stuff may seem easy enough but many people have a hard time applying this principle to their own lives.
Instructions
All you need to start learning and teaching yourself how to not sweat the small stuff in a marriage is the desire to make a change. Not sweating the small stuff is not something that is going to happen over night. It takes time to train yourself how to prioritize. If you remember nothing else from the following tips of how to not sweat the small stuff in a marriage remember this, your marriage and your spouse should always come first.
Many couples, soon after getting married, find that compromise is a key to keeping harmony and happiness in the home. However, for some couples, certain issues are more difficult to compromise with than others.
One area that couples may find troublesome after marriage is religious differences. Interfaith marriages, which occur when two people from differing religious backgrounds marry, are becoming more and more common. While this is something many people discuss before marriage, often a couple believes that their love will withstand any trial. But when real life sets in and families must decide what religion to raise their children in or what holidays to celebrate or not celebrate, religious differences in marriage can be a big problem.
Relationships are tough, this is evident by the high divorce rate. Even if you are not divorced you probably know someone who is. The problems that lead to divorce are not only evident in marriages, many relationships end before they ever really get started because of some basic problems. The following are ten tips and guidelines to how to have a positive relationship so that it lasts and is enjoyable:
Opposite gender friendships after marriage can be very tricky. Some people may think it is a good idea while others think it is not a good idea.
Some of the reasons why opposite gender friendships after marriage are not a very good idea:
Opposite gender friendships after marriage can create animosity between you and your spouse. Your spouse may feel that you are spending more time with your opposite gender friend. This can create a problem with your marriage. Your spouse needs to feel that they come first before any of your friends.
Dreams are an important part of a persons well being. When some people get married they wonder how you can be married and still chase your dreams. Being married really doesn't mean that life has stopped. Having dreams is important to living life. Dreams, no matter how small or how big give you goals to work towards. This way you know you are progressing in life.
How to be married and still chase your dreams will take some communicating with your spouse. The best way to chase your dreams is to let your spouse know about them. If he or she doesn't understand why you want to chase certain dreams then discuss it with him or her.
Don't be afraid or mean when you talk. There is a good chance that your spouse may have dreams to chase too. To be married and still chase your dreams can be done with communication and understanding of your spouses feeling and possible reserves.
Many couples, soon after getting married, find that compromise is a key to keeping harmony and happiness in the home. However, for some couples, certain issues are more difficult to compromise with than others.
Keeping your marital bonds strong is one way to make your marriage a lasting one. As the newlywed stigma wears off and couples become busy with their careers and having children, it can sometimes be difficult to keep your marriage a priority. However, keeping your marital bonds strong and making your relationship with your spouse a priority in your life can help you stay happy for the long run.
With over 50% of all first marriages ending in divorce and the statistics being even higher for subsequent marriages people may feel that it is useless to try and have a happy marriage. But relationship experts recommend that by knowing the warning signs early on in a relationship the partners can then determine whether or not problems can be fixed or the relationship needs to be ended before marriage even becomes an issue. If you are in a realtionship and wondering if it is right for you here are 10 warning signs that a relationship is in trouble-
Communicating in marriage can be a very difficult task. No matter if a couple is newly married, raising children, or enjoying retirement, communicating takes effort. This is not because the couple is no longer in love, but simply because two individual people are trying to think like one. If communication issues have put a strain on a marriage, the couple should not give up. Here are a few tips for keeping the communication lines open in marriage.
Eat Meals Together
Sometimes couples get in the habit of eating their meals separately or in front of the television. Either way, they have eliminated an opportunity for communication. Couples should plan on eating their meals together without the television. It may take a few meals, but conversation will naturally occur. Couples should take turns talking about their day, the children, work, or even something they learned that day. Pretty soon they will be cleaning up after meals together just to keep the conversation going a little longer.
We all know the jokes about marriage and the way that marriage absolutely kills off romance. You know how it goes: if you really, really, really want to destroy your romantic connection with the love of your life, just marry them and it'll be gone just like that! There have been countless TV episodes making fun of the lack of romance in marriage, countless movies about it, and who knows how many different comic strips about it.
However, your marriage does not have to be the death sentence for the romance in your relationship. There are a number of ways that you can keep the romance alive with your spouse even though you're no longer in the impassioned clutches of teenage puppy-love. Let's face it: marriage entails big responsibilities and the kind of day-to-day existence that can tend to shut down the special moments that we think of as romantic. But the key to keeping the romance alive with your spouse is to integrate romance into those day by day different things that you end up having to do together, like eating dinner and running the kids around on errands and those sorts of things.
One of the main questions for many individuals when they get married is whether or not they can still maintain their friendships with members of the opposite sex. Some people have already addressed this issue with their partner if they have been in a long term relationship before getting married, but something about marriage makes things even more official and thus makes the problem even more difficult and central. Now that you have officially said that you are connected to this other person, can you still hang out with your old roommate's ex-boyfriend or your good friend from junior high?
I'm not going to give you an easy answer that says yes you can be friends with members of the opposite sex or no you can't be friends with members of the opposite sex. Instead, I think that whether or not you can be friends with members of the opposite sex when you are married is something that you and your spouse have to decide together, based on your relationship.
"Being friends with the opposite sex when you are married" »
Most couples in happy marriages would agree that the best marriage is one that communicates. It is difficult to imagine how a marriage could survive if the partnership was not able to effectively communicate with each other. With so many important issues to have to answer together, a couple has to be on the same page. We see many communication issues at the heart of divorce proceedings. And as you probably know, the number of marriages that end in divorce is quickly rising to the point where soon there will be more unhappy marriages than happy ones.
Happy marriages are not fairytales. It is possible to have and maintain a happy marriage, but you are going to have to work at it. Being able to get along with your companion during your period of courtship is one thing. Handling the hardships that life is undoubtedly going to throw at you throughout the years is definitely another thing entirely.
You love your spouse, which is why you got married. But after the honeymoon was over you might have noticed a few things that you didn't know before. Some of these will be cute, but others with downright annoy you.
All of these things can be worked out, if you truly love your spouse then they are worth working on. But when you are talking with other people, all of the negative that you have found should not be shared.
"Why it is important to only say good things about your spouse to other people" »
When you are dating you have fun all the time, when you are engaged there is so much to worry about that the fun seems to be a little more infrequent. And by the time you are married, fun is almost a thing of the past.
That is not how any marriage should be. Fun is an essential part of being married. Having fun with your spouse can improve your marriage in many ways. Here are just a few of the ways that fun makes a marriage better.
"Having fun with your spouse, how it improves your marriage" »
Money is an essential part of life, and yet many times we let it get in the way of our family and friend relationships. Think about it, if you make a few hundred thousand a year, do you hang out often with people who live in the projects? Exactly. However, there is more to money then the classes and distinctions it makes, and that is the problems it can create between you and those who are already your friends, and who are in your family.
How can you make sure money does not make a problem in family or friend relationships?
"How to make sure money does not make problems in family or friend relationships" »
So, how can you improve your intimacy in marriage?
Marriage is the bond of two people with totally different personalities and from totally different backgrounds. Sometimes those differences can cause problems in a marriage.
Learning to handle the differences that marriage brings will help you to grow closer together and become a more united couple. Marriage takes a lot of work and effort, and if applied right you can get fantastic results from it.
Your wife is a busy woman. After she gets done with everything she has to do, she somehow finds time to do things she wants to do. And you want her to have that time for what she wants but you also want some time to spend with her.
You don't understand her interests and you aren't sure if you want to. But if you gave her a chance to show you, you may discover that there is a lot more to your wife than you ever knew.
Whether you feel immense love for your partner right now or not, in today's age for a couple to think of growing old together seems like a joke. The rate at which divorces are taking place and couples separate, makes it a difficult task to find someone to grow old with. The following are some ways to choose a person to grow old with. A person you feel you can be with every day for the rest of your life. The person you are not going to get sick of a few years down the road:
The first step in choosing a person to grow old with is determining for yourself that the person you choose, no matter what happens, will be someone from whom you will not separate or divorce. Often times commitment to yourself, and to a goal of staying together makes the biggest difference in whether or not the person you choose will be someone you will grow old with.
All of us at one time or another has gotten mad or upset with our spouses but that doesn't mean that we don't still love our spouses. What some of us don't realize is that a marriage is a relationship that needs to be worked on everyday to keep things even, basically what this means is that even though you are married and in a relationship that doesn't mean that your life is at a stand still or you have to be stuck in a rut. In fact there are things that we can do on a daily basis to help improve our marriage. And the best thing about this is that it doesn't take much time or effort, just a little bit of thought and sincerity.
Here are some things that you can do daily to improve your marriage.
Not everybody is going to face this problem, but it actually occurs a lot more than people think and some people can forgive and forget rather easily whereas others have a harder time. But just because your spouse is unfaithful once doesn't mean that it is going to happen again and just because they were unfaithful doesn't mean that you can't forgive them. Only you can determine what is going to happen in your relationship if you have an unfaithful spouse because only you know what you can and can't live with and how much you actually love the person and want to work out your problems.
Here are some steps that you can take to forgive an unfaithful spouse.
Deciding on divorce is a big decision and not one that should be made lightly. Getting a divorce does not make you a bad person, but choosing to get divorced without considering the options, or at least taking time to think about things is a bad idea. So, the following are some of the things you should consider before deciding on divorce.
First consider your mindset. Usually people who are considering divorce have been weighing it their mind for a time. They usually are not happy, and are not sure what to do about it. So, you need to figure out where you mind is.
A lot of people complain that once you get married the romance dies. This holds truth, usually you have an exciting courtship, ups and downs, and then you plan a wedding,e tc. This can cause marriage to be somewhat anti-climactic. You start to settle into a daily routine of financial, household, and child responsibilities, forgetting you are a couple, and all the romance that is supposed to go along with that.
So, what can you do for a more romantic marriage? Try the following to make sure your romance never dies after you get married, or to revive it if it has already passed on:
Jealousy is a very powerful emotion, and one that most of us have felt at one point of our lives or another. Jealousy can create some pretty hideous sides of people to rear their face. Jealousy can create problems for relationships, etc. A healthy amount of jealousy is good for a relationship. However, in marriage, it is important to avoid jealousy as much as possible. Let's take a look at how to deal with jealousy in a marriage.
Most of us have experienced a jealous partner or have been in a relationship where we curiously find ourselves being insecure and jealous by nature. It is a weird feeling to have, especially if you are usually secure and you have never experienced it before.
Why you should have regular date nights when married. The first and most important reason you should have regular date nights when you are married is that the divorce rate spikes among married couples after they have children, and this is usually due to not spending as much time with one another. There are new stresses and pressures when you have kids, and this sometimes leaves little time for anything else-especially for one another.
You should have date nights regularly after you are married to help keep the romance alive. You should have date nights after you are married so that you keep courting one another. You should have date nights after you are married so that you remember why it is you married one another in the first place. There are a million and one reasons to hold a regular date night. If you plan it well you could trade babysitting with another couple. You could make it much less expensive, and lots of fun.
Women can be somewhat cryptic when it comes to speech. A lot of times they say one things and mean something completely different. The following are nine commonly uttered phrases your wife will use, and the actual meaning behind them:
Fine: Basically there are a few ways this can be said, and the tone indicates the meaning. If you ask how she is, and she responds "fine" in a chipper voice, she probably is. But if she mumbles it, or says it sourly it means that she is mad and doesn't want to waste time talking about it because you won't understand, or she wants you to figure it out on your own. This is also the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. So look at the context of the use to derive meaning.
"What your wife really means when she says (fill in the blank)" »
Tips for getting through the hard times in a marriage. The fact of life is that marriage is not easy. Most marriages have lots of rough spots. These rough spots can cause one of two things to happen. They can either make the marriage stronger, or they can ruin it. Which it is for you, is up to you.
What your rough spots are will vary. For some it is money, for others cheating or insecurity, for others a death, or birth, etc. So, it would be wise to prepare yourself for rough spots of all varieties as the old adage goes, "It is better to be prepared for tough times and not have them than to have tough times and not be prepared."
How to tell your spouse you love them in writing. If you love your spouse you should tell the. Sometimes it is easier to tell them in words, other times it is easier to tell them with a love letter. However, when you use a love letter, it is important that you do things right. You want to make sure that they feel your emotion, true meaning, and sincerity, not think that maybe you just can't say it.
A love letter can be a real treasure for a spouse if the letter is written right. It can be a great reminder of the love you have, of the treasured moments in your relationship, etc. A great love letter is a beautiful way to express emotion and show you care. So, whether you are husband or wife, write a love letter to show how much you care. Write them often, with sincerity, and most importantly, with love.
Let's face it, we could all use some guidelines for how to help our marriages succeed, and to have great marriages. The divorce rate is incredibly high, and the fact is that you can do things to make your marriage stronger so you avoid becoming a part of the divorce statistic. When you start thinking about what is in the best interest of your marriage instead of yourself, then your marriage succeeds. Try the following Do's and Don'ts:
Do: Think about your spouse first and foremost. Show gratitude, and love daily.
Relationships are what we have in life, and making them last is really important. However, we all make some mistakes, and these can lead to dissolution of a great relationship. The follow are four mistakes to avoid when you are married so that it will last.
Mistake one. The biggest mistake you can make if you want your marriage to last is criticizing your spouse. No one wants to be criticized. The problem is that it is all too easy to criticize your spouse for not being perfect. The problem with criticism is that we usually give them while we ignore our own imperfections.
"Four mistakes to avoid in marriage if you want it to last" »
There are a lot of things you can do to spice up your fun in the bedroom without feeling dirty. Sometimes you just need a little stimulation to be able to get stimulated. So, here are some tips for spicing up the fun in the bedroom without feeling dirty:
Tip one: Do not use porno. One thing you do not want to do to spice up your fun in your bedroom without feeling dirty is using pornography. Porno is not going make your sex life more fun without giving you a dirty feeling. Involving others in sex is going make you feel dirty, so do not try kinky sex things like threesomes, or porn. Do not involve others, even if they are just in a video or magazine.
"Tips for spicing up the fun in the bedroom without feeling dirty" »
Most people would agree that a marriage is difficult enough as it is. If you never see each other how can you keep your marriage working? When your schedules conflict and you rarely see one another, how can you keep your marriage together and working?
The following are some tips for keeping a marriage working when your schedules conflict and you rarely see one another:
"How to keep a marriage working when your schedules conflict and you rarely see one another" »
What you ought to know about cheating in a marriage:
Let's be honest- in reality, marriage and family are probably the most important part of our lives. It's more important than work, school, and outside activities. So when we're in a marriage and family, you probably want to do anything you can to make improvements in them. You want to be sure that your marriage is healthy. But sometimes other things get in the way of having a healthy marriage. And then our marriages suffer. So if your marriage is struggling or even if it isn't, here are some ways to improve your marriage today- today meaning you can start making improvements immediately.
Everyone has something to complain about in their marriage. There will always be one reason or another to be dissatisfied with your relationship. It might be getting stale. It might be you are tired from the stress of life. It does not matter, what matters is how to have a more satisfying marriage. The following are so tips for how to have a more satisfying marriage.
Identify the main source of dissatisfaction:
Being friends with your partner's friends is a good thing, and a bad. Let's take a look at the good and cad of it, and how you can get along with your partner's friends in just the right way:
The good:
Getting along with your partner's friends is good because there will be times that you all do things together, and it would be awkward and uncomfortable if you did not get along. Also, they are his or her friends, and they mean a lot to them, so it is important that you show that relationship some respect. Getting along with their friends means more fun, better times, and an assurance that when he or she is out with their friends without you, their friends are not going to be bad talking you.
Doing work doesn't seem like something that can be fun. Chores can be really tedious, but when you group together as a family, you can make this something fun and enjoyable. Working together can bring you closer to one another, teach your children work ethic and help you get work accomplished faster. Here are some tips on how to make the experience of working together something you can look forward to.
One great way to make working together a great experience is to give yourself rewards. It's a great idea to have something positive at the end of a long day of working together. Some ideas of how to do this is to have a fun family night at the end. Cook your children's favorite dinner or desert after your finished. You can also rent or go out to a movie. It's very motivational to be working towards something, and if you do this every time, working together will become something to look forward to. You children will have a positive association with housework. Make sure that everyone's aware of the reward you're going to give yourselves at the end. It doesn't have to be anything large, but even having a little something to look forward to can make the experience great.
"How to make working together something to look forward to" »
To start off right with your in-laws try the following:
Women say, "I do not care." all of the time, but that is usually not what she really means. So, what does she mean when she says she doesn't care? The following are the common meanings behind the phrase "I don't care.":
1. I am too tired to decide.
Often times the woman in your life is balancing children, home, laundry, cooking, work, and school, and so when you ask her to make a decision she would rather pass the buck because she is tired. So, to best do this, she says, "I don't care." However, what she should say is, "I have been busy all day doing a million things, why don't you man up and just decide so I do not have to?"
People think that they should be completely open and honest with their spouse, and that they should share all of their secrets, but is that really a good idea? The following are some guidelines for sharing your secrets with your spouse:
"Is sharing all your secrets with your spouse really a good idea?" »
Both men and women have a difficult time showing interest in what the other partner enjoys doing. Most men are not interested in shoes, fashion, crafts, or cooking. While women usually do not have a very big interest in cars, golf, business finance, etc. Of course these interests are just examples and there are those couples who enjoy everything that their spouse enjoys. For those couples I say congratulations. For the rest of us, we need to be dedicated to trying harder to show interest in the things that are near and dear to our spouse. After all, we cannot show support and care for our spouse if we make fun of or belittle the things that he or she enjoys doing. These interests are part of who we are as people and we need to learn to love them.
If it is important to your spouse it should be important to you
Many times it makes absolutely no difference what it is that your spouse is interested in, you should be willing to show interest in it because it is something that is important to your partner. This is not to say that you have to develop an interest of your spouse for yourself. But to foster a healthy relationship you cannot belittle what interest's your spouse even if you have no interest whatsoever in what he enjoys doing.
Alright, what are you planning on giving your sweetheart this year for an anniversary gift? Same ole, same ole? Let's hope not. Ok, let's be honest, women are much better at anniversary gifts than men. So, this is for the men.
Most women do like flowers, chocolates, jewelry and cards for your anniversary, but didn't you do that last year? How about we look into some new ideas for that special someone:
Things that should be kept from you spouse would be: anything that would hurt that person unnecessarily, things that have been told to you in confidence by a friend. Certain things from your past that do not affect either of you now should be kept from your spouse. Another thing that should be kept from your spouse would be any negative feeling about any one in your spouse's family.
One secret couples keep from each other is an attraction to another person. People have fantasies about other partners all the time but they never plan to act on these fantasies. Most married couples keep quiet about their fantasies so they don't hurt their spouse's feelings, and that's okay. Most people couldn't handle having a spouse say to them, 'My fantasy is to make love with our neighbor." Some fantasies are okay to be shared with your spouse and others are better kept to yourselves. There is no sense in hurting your spouse's feeling and getting them upset over something you would never act on.
The following are some things you should never keep from your spouse, and why:
SECRETS: A good, healthy marriage suggests that both partners, the husband and wife, will always be honest with one another. So, keeping a secret from your partner is not a good way for a newly married couple to start out their life together. Things which will have an effect on both partners, like: finances, change of residence, possible change of employment, major purchases, common religious beliefs etc. should probably be discussed fairly openly between partners. But there are certain things that one or the other can do that they don't necessarily need to share. For example, it probably isn't necessary to tell your partner that you bought a pack of gum when you stopped by the store on the way home from work. Nor is it necessary for a husband to tell his wife that he shined his shoes before he went to work in the morning. Your feelings about other people are something that you might want to keep secret, unless they are your feelings towards your mate. In a successful marriage relationship both partners should always be completely honest in their feelings towards one another. For example, if one partner begins to doubt in his love for the other, he/she should share that, as hard as it may be, even though it might hurt the other partner's feelings. Showing confidence in the partner and enlisting his/her help might be a way of working things out and eventually solving the problem.
"Relationships-What things should you keep from your spouse" »
In almost every marriage there is at least some time when the spouses experience conflict of some sort. It is very difficult for two people to be so close and so utterly vulnerable to each other. Sometimes all of us say things we don't mean, and hurt each other within our marriages, and at certain times, marriages can come to a place where help from an outside party in order to keep a working relationship seems necessary. Many people do not wish to see a counselor when things get uncomfortable in a marriage. It is difficult to open your relationship up to a third person, especially when things feel so uncomfortable between the two of you. Although this can be a good option in certain situations, there are other things that can be tried and have often proved to be fabulous alternatives to marriage counseling.
"Alternatives to marriage counseling when you need to fix your marriage" »
Talking to your spouse about a problem or something that troubles you can be difficult. While you should be able to talk to your spouse about anything, sometimes talking to them about their pitfalls and problems is hard. So, how do you talk to your spouse about something that troubles you? In order to talk to your spouse better about things that trouble you, whether it is their behavior, or something else, do the following:
1. When you want to talk to your spouse about something that troubles you, you will want to be alone. These types of conversations should be private. When you start talking about your problems in front of other people, you open the flood gates for spouse bashing, complaining, and several of the marital problems that come along with that. So, instead of setting yourself up for problems, find a quiet place, find somewhere you can go, to your room, out of ear shot, and talk to your spouse about what is troubling you.
"How to talk to your spouse about something that troubles you" »
When you want to surprise that lovely lady in your life, and you want it to be in a way that just makes her melt, be sure to follow the following advice.
Unique: Okay, this is not to say that flowers and candies, and nice dinners aren't important, and won't make her melt, because it most cases they will, however, doing something truly unique will just do it so much better. If you surprise her with something she never would have expected because it is so atypical, she will melt right there in your hands. So, what kind of thing is unique enough to do this? Well, instead of bringing her home a dozen roses, how about a puppy? Ok, so a dog is too much work, or too difficult, instead of taking her out to dinner at a fancy restaurant, surprise her with a new set of curtains for the front room. Obviously what makes one woman melt will not necessarily make another woman melt, however, giving her something unique, useful, and unexpected usually does the trick. So, consider what types of things your special someone loves, then surprise them with something unique.
In any relationship you are going to run into situations where you are in a deadlock because neither one of your are willing to budge. This is the time you need to take a break, and try and see things from his/her perspective. But, how do you do that? People and their views and opinions are generally made up over a lifetime of circumstance and teaching, so understanding someone else's perspective can be difficult. However, to see things from his/her perspective, try some of the following:
Try taking over their role, or place for a day. In marriages especially it is hard to see where the other person is coming from because we become too consumed in where we are coming from. But if you do, it helps you be more understanding, and more forgiving, which leads to less problems. Let's take a look at an example scenario:
Divorce is something that is very hard on children, and can be very painful for them. While it is impossible to protect your children from all the pains of divorce, there is a lot that you can do to lessen the pain they feel.
The number one thing you can do to protect your children from the pains of divorce is to not ask them, or force them, or even imply to them that they have to choose sides. This is not a good idea. So the following are some of the golden rules for making sure your child never feels like they have to choose sides:
It is said that you should marry your best friend, and for a truly successful marriage, it will be between two friends. There is saying after saying, and study after study that shows you should be friends first, and lovers second. However, often times in marriage we get caught up in life and forget to do things to strengthen our friendships with our spouses. The result? Your spouse is no longer your best friend, rather your spouse becomes more like a roommate. So, how can you make your spouse your best friend again? Well, how do you make anyone your best friend? Take those principles, and apply them in your relationship.
If you have been unfaithful to your spouse, it will be difficult path back into their good graces. Many believe that it is impossible to make things right once you have betrayed a trust that sacred. While it is difficult, it is not impossible. In order to work towards making things right after you have been unfaithful, try the following:
One of the hardest things to overcome in a marriage is infidelity. If your spouse is unfaithful to you, or in other words, cheats on you, it can be extremely difficult to forgive them. However, it is possible. The following are some tips to help you on the path to forgiveness if your spouse is unfaithful to you:
There are many ways to display your affection to your spouse. However, not every display of affection is appropriate in front of your children. There are certain types of affection that can be scaring, inappropriate, and psychologically not a good idea for your children. So, what are the appropriate displays of affection in front of your children?
"Appropriate displays of affection in front of your children" »
You and your partner should regularly do the following activities together as they will help to improve your relationship:
"Activities you and your partner should do together often" »
Life is so exciting before you get married, you are making wedding plans, anticipating your new life together, and spending every moment together that you can. However, after marriage, some realities set in, one of which is who are you going to spend time with when you want to do stuff with other people? You have likely ignored many of your friends for the past few months. You and your spouse may not have the same ideas of who you want to have as friends, and who you want to spend time with. And, there is a strong likelihood that your unmarried friends will be less interested in hanging out with you as much simply because you are married. So, what can you do to make friends after you are married?
Building good relationships is very important, whether they are friendships, or a marriage, there are several things you can do to build a good relationship:
When people are married, it does not mean they never fight, in fact, sometimes it is the opposite because we are not as careful or kind to those we are closest with. However, with fights come make ups. If you find yourself saying, "Oops" read on. This time it's really you at fault and you have to apologize, but how on earth do you do it? Here are four ways to apologize to your spouse.
Here are six ideas for choosing a marriage therapist. If you're having problems with your car, you don't take it to the veterinarian for repair. Likewise, if you're having problems with your marriage, you don't want to take it to just anyone, you want a professional. However, not every professional is going to be perfect for you. So, follow these six steps and you will have little trouble finding the right person to take your marriage from the rocks to smooth sailing.
So you're newly married and there is a whole new family for you to get along with. There is a lot of anxiety that comes along with marrying into a new family, and getting along with the mother in law seems to be at the top of the list. You need to start off right, and to do so here are 6 great ideas for building a relationship with your mother-in-law.
"6 ideas for building a relationship with your mother-in-law" »
You may be feeling like you and your spouse are having some difficult times. Here are five signs that it's time for you both to see a marriage counselor.
Sometimes it seems like arguments never end, but here are four ways you can put
your fights behind you:
1. Pinpoint what the fight is actually about. That sounds easy enough, but often the fight isn't about what you're fighting about. Often we bring baggage to the table that all comes pouring out in a big fight that has nothing to do with the little thing that set it off. Maybe you're doing dishes and you're angry that you're always the one doing dishes and you complain about it and there it goes like an explosion. Actually, if you thought about it, you're not really bothered about dishes because you know your other half always takes out the trash or cleans the bathroom and you balance things. But while doing the dishes you were thinking about how your sweetie missed your birthday and that new guy at the office was rude to you and that driver in traffic cut you off and suddenly you explode about doing the dishes. Now that you're fighting it's hard to step back and recognize what the actual issue is, or if you do think of what the actually issue is, you're certainly too worked up to back up and stop and admit that dishes aren't the problem and that you're fighting because someone cut you off in traffic, but that's exactly what you need to do.
The term has been around forever, but there are three ways you can avoid the evil "mother-in-law" syndrome.
Your relationship with your spouse is one of the most important relationships you have, and you should constantly work to improve it. While most know this, many do not know where to begin. So, how do you get closer to your spouse?
Even with equality between the sexes, as a wife you may feel like when it comes to the housework nothing about it is equal. If you find yourself doing more than your fair share of helping out around the house, you might be wondering how you can get your husband to pitch in some.
The following are some suggestions of how to get your husband to help out around the house:
1. Ask: ok, believe it or not, most men, if asked will pitch in. They are smarter than we think, and frankly, why should they help if you will do it all? Right! So, rather than do it all yourself and then be silently mad about it, ask your husband to help out.
Making your marriage work: some simple advice
When faced with the fact that nearly half of all marriages end in divorce, many people are left wondering "what can I do to make my marriage work?" Everyone wants all the advice they can get. Often the best advice is the simplest. And what could be more simple than the golden rule: treat others as you want to be treated. Even elementary school kids are taught that!
Most successful marriages seem to have one thing in common; each person is more concerned about the other person in the relationship. People in these most enviable relationships are very good at using the golden rule.
After you are married for a while, dating may go out the window. So, set a date night and make it a priority. Ok, but what if stuff comes up? You get sick, have no insurance, and have huge medical bills so you have no money to go on a date. You have a big deadline at work, and need to fit in the hours. So, how do you make date night a priority, and ensure that is stays there? Try the following:
Do you feel like your relationship with you spouse is lacking the spark it used to have? Does it feel like it is the same routine and the same boring things over and over again? Maybe there is still a lot of passion, but you crave a little something more? A lot of times during a marriage, a couple may feel like their relationship is missing the spontaneity and fun that used to be there. A great way to bring back the feeling of excitement and love is to surprise your spouse here and there. It doesn't have to be anything big, but it will certainly leave your partner feeling more appreciated and allow the two of you to ignite that spark that may be fading a little. So whether you have been married for 2 months, 2 years, or even 20 years, here are some tips on things you can do to surprise your spouse!
Fix your spouse breakfast in bed. There is no better way to start the day than spending even a few minutes with the one you love.
Call your partner when you are apart during the day, just to tell them you love them and you can't stop thinking about them. What better feeling is there than to know that you are loved and adored?!
You do not have to succumb to the hum drum of married life, you can keep that flare, spark, and romantic flame alive. The question is, "How can you bring romance into the everyday of your marriage."
The answer:
1. Start with when you wake up: Roll over and plant one right on your husband or wife's cheek. You probably won't want to kiss their mouth as you likely have morning breath. Give them a big hug, pull them close, and say, "I love you." This starts your morning off right, with a smile on your face, and a little romance in the air.
Despite popular belief, life does not end after you are married. You can still make friends, go out, have fun, and enjoy being married. However, many married people do not know how to make friends. It was much easier to make friends when you were single, but where do you go, and what do you do to make friends now that you are married?
The following are some good ways to make friends after you are married:
Do you feel like your relationship with you spouse is lacking the spark it used to have? Does it feel like it is the same routine and the same boring things over and over again? Maybe there is still a lot of passion, but you crave a little something more? A lot of times during a marriage, a couple may feel like their relationship is missing the spontaneity and fun that used to be there. A great way to bring back the feeling of excitement and love is to surprise your spouse here and there. It doesn't have to be anything big, but it will certainly leave your partner feeling more appreciated and allow the two of you to ignite that spark that may be fading a little. So whether you have been married for 2 months, 2 years, or even 20 years, here are some tips on things you can do to surprise your spouse!
Fix your spouse breakfast in bed. There is no better way to start the day than spending even a few minutes with the one you love.
Call your partner when you are apart during the day, just to tell them you love them and you can't stop thinking about them. What better feeling is there than to know that you are loved and adored?!
When two people get married it can often take several months or even years to iron out the wrinkles that come from joining two lives together. When it is a second marriage with children, it is not just joining two individuals; it is like combining two different nations. Each family may have their own way of governing their family, their own humor, trials, and ways of showing love. One major issue in making your second marriage work is getting along with your step children. Here are a few suggestions that may help your second marriage stay strong.
"Relationships: How to make second marriages work even if you don't like" »
The first place where I started in my search for divorce statistics is www.divorcereform.org. This website gives you overall statistics for the entire United States, along with predictions, raw numbers, and more. It also gives you links to other divorce statistics. It is important to remember, when you are looking for divorce statistics for your state, that California, Colorado, Indiana, and Louisiana do not keep track of the number of annual divorces.
Here's the kind of information you can get from this website. For example, the annual per capita divorce rate for the United States is 0.38% divorces per capita per year. This is just an estimate from the National Center for Health Statistics from 2005. The actual annual divorce rate for the year ending Nov. 30, 2004, is 0.37% per capita. This means that almost half of all marriages end in divorce. Here's what the per capita rate means.
Question: How can I solve my husband's pornography addiction?
Answer: The very first thing that I want to say to you in answer to how you can solve your husband's pornography addiction is this: you can't. One of the most insidious effects of pornography is that it makes the woman in the relationship feel like her husband turns to pornography because of something wrong with her. She thinks the pornography addiction is somehow her fault, and if she could just do something differently, act differently, dress differently, be a different person, then she could solve her husband' pornography addiction.
First let's talk about how you can generally determine how much your divorce is going to cost, so that you can look at ways to cut those costs. The cost of your divorce will depend on several things: where you live, how amicable the divorce will (or will not) be, the process that you choose to use, the complexity of your affairs, and finally whether or not you stay in control of your divorce.
Let's discuss the first point, quickly. The amount that your divorce will cost depends on where you live. If you have the option of choosing between two states where you could get divorced, you will want to look into how much a divorce would cost in each state so that if one will be much less than the other, you can file there instead.
"How can I get a divorce without it costing a ton of money?" »
Your wife is your better half, the love of your life, and the one person you couldn't live without. But how do you tell her that?
For some men, telling their wife how much they love her can be difficult. The following are some simple ideas for telling your wife you love her, in a way that she will really know it:
Words: Let's face it, one of the best ways to tell your husband that you love him is to just say it. However, some ways of saying those words are better than others. For example, maybe whispering it into his ear, as you walk past him sitting on the couch would be more effective than yelling "I love you" as he walks out the door to work, and you are busy with something else. Saying it and meaning it are two different things, so be sure that when you tell your husband you love him using that simple phrase, "I love you!" that your actions back up what you are saying.
That brings us to the next way you can tell your husband you love him. Not everyone is good at words, and a great option is to use your actions to say it for you.
The number one thing married couples fight about is money! Money may not buy happiness, but lack of money, poor management of money, or disregard for money can certainly be blamed for many fights and marital problems. So, how can you stop fighting about money, no matter how much you make or spend?
The following are some ways to stop fighting about money. Now let's be honest, this is not going to happen overnight, but it can help, and get you on the path to a happier marriage.
Marriage can be tough. It is tough because you are trying to take two people who grew up with different values, views, and lifestyles, and trying to fuse them together. You fight. you fight about money, because your views on who should make it, and how it should be spent are different. You fight about your children because your views on their role, discipline, and how to raise them are different. You probably fight about a lot of things, and 99% of the time, those fights are caused by different viewpoints, and thus a lack of understanding on why, or how, the other person could think what they think. Even people that grow up in the same neighborhood, with the same friends, etc. can learn different things, have different values, and thus problems in marriage. Interracial marriages often times just complicate the matter. Why? Well, as a race you have a whole other set of values, codes, ethics, traditions, customs, mind sets, and ways of life that another race may not understand.
However, this does not mean that interracial marriages can not succeed. On the contrary, what it actually means is that it may be more difficult, but it may also be easier. How? Well, you will have different views, but at least you go into the marriage with the understanding that you have that, thus acceptance of it, and avoidance the problems that often go along with it, are easily avoided.
Whether or not divorce is appropriate depends on your values and beliefs, as well as your marital situation. When it comes down to it, divorce is an appropriate option if you feel that it is. There is no magic formula or list of guidelines that you can check off that will tell you whether or not you should get divorced. You are the only person who can make that decision, as difficult as it is. However, here are some issues which might help you organize your thoughts and your feelings and decide whether or not divorce is an appropriate option for you.
Here are some reasons that you might be thinking about divorce:
Your marriage is something that is worth working for, but you think you need a little help. That is totally normal. Many people seek advice and help from marriage counselors each year. And, as a result, many marriages that were on a slippery slope sliding toward divorce, were able to course correct, and anchor themselves again. So, how can you make your story of seeking a marriage counselor one of those with a happy ending?
This article will discuss how to choose a marriage counselor. It will lead you through the necessary steps, provide questions to ask, and questions to answer, and give you the facts about credentials, etc, that you should look for when hiring a marriage counselor.
Your marriage is the most important relationship in your life, but that does not mean it will be problem free. In fact, many marriages run into problems at some point. The key to whether or not your marriage can survive this road bumps and problems is whether or not you get help.
Getting help for your marriage is not bad. Too many people look at it as if it is an admission of failure, when, in fact it is actually a step to avoid failure. However, there are many places you can go to get help, let's look at some places, and how you can get help for your marriage, as well as which option is best for you:
It is possible, you can break the divorce cycle within your own family or within your spouse's family. If you come from a family with a history of divorces, studies and research have shown that it is more likely that your own marriage will end in a divorce. Children who grow up in families affected by divorce learn patterns of behavior and how to act in relationships based on how their parents behave and how their parents approached relationships. This means that these children learn behaviors that will help lead to divorce-abuse, selfishness, an inability to communicate, an inability to listen, etc. It might seem like your case is hopeless, if your parents, your grandparents, your great grandparents even, and your siblings' own marriages all ended in divorce. However, with some work and self awareness, and also an understanding of your own family, you can break the divorce cycle (or help your spouse break the divorce cycle) and you can have a successful marriage and a happy family.
Divorce can be a generational curse. However, even if your parents were divorced or you yourself are divorced, you can help break the cycle of divorce for your own marriage or for your children. If you have gone through a divorce, through love and careful nurturing, along with careful teaching about how to have successful relationships, you can help your children learn to form healthy relationships that will lead them to healthy marriages.
For those that ask the question: Do marriages that start from online dating services succeed? The answer is simple. Yes and no, marriages that start from online dating services are just like marriages that start through mutual friends, a chance encounter, a parent set up, or meeting at a bar or club. Some succeed, some don't succeed.
However, truth be told, often online dating service marriages are better, last longer, and succeed at a higher rate than other marriages. Why? Often online dating service marriages are better because of the following reasons:
"Do marriages that start from online dating services succeed" »
Question: Are there healthy sex games that will improve our love life?
Answer: This is a great question. And I'm glad that you felt comfortable enough to ask it. A lot of the time, couples associate sex games with the kinkier side of sex-something beyond the boundaries of acceptable behavior. Well, this just plain isn't true. Healthy sex games are a fantastic way to improve your sex life, to spice up things in the bedroom, and to make you and your spouse draw closer together and feel more comfortable around each other.
"Are there healthy sex games that will improve our love life?" »
Question: "All my husband wants is sex. How can I get him to love me more?"
Answer: There are a lot of different things to talk about to answer your question. The first thing that I want to say is that you need to recognize that this is not going on because there is something wrong with you. This is not a situation where you are doing something wrong, and you need to fix something about yourself. Rather, this is a problem with communication between you and your husband, and it's something that the two of you need to work on, together.
You're not alone in feeling that your husband only wants you for sex. There are lots of wives and significant others who struggle with the same question, and the feelings of insecurity, frustration, and worthlessness that it might bring about. But the key to solving your problem is the key to all healthy relationships: the big C, or communication.
"All my husband wants is sex. How can I get him to love me more?" »
To put a little love back into your relationship, or just increase the amount you currently have do the following, one simple thing each day:
Day one: Start the day with a big hug. Think of it this way, if you start out right, it takes a lot more to make it worse than if you start it out wrong. So, wake up, roll over, smile big, and hug your spouse with all your might!
This article covers 10 more great things that you can do with your wife on a Friday night. Feel like your marriage has happily settled into . . . routine? That's probably because it has. Think about it. When Friday night comes around, do you spend the time doing your bills? Do you look forward to Friday night because it gives you time to clean the bathroom while the kids are out with your friends? If this is your situation, you need to start amping up the volume on the weekends. One of the most important things that you can do for your relationship is to put the housework and the company reports away for a night, and go out on a date. Forget about everything else, focus on yourselves, and have a good time. Forget the dinner and a movie-go have fun, and use Friday night as a time when the two of you can focus on each other, rejuvenate, relax, and keep the romance alive, whether you're just married or have a household full of kids.
"10 more great things to do with your wife on a Friday night." »
This article will give you 10 great things that you can do with your wife on a Friday night. A lot of the time, couples find that after they get married, the romance level falls drastically. Suddenly all your time is taken up with work, school, housework, and maybe kids. Instead of going out, you have to do the bills, mow the lawn, clean the bathroom, organize the pantry. Sound boring? That's because it is. But the truth is that most of our lives end up being that way. And if your life has boiled down to the routine of going to work, coming home, watching the news or Sports Center in your sweatpants, and then heading to bed around 10 o'clock, both you and your wife need a serious step up in the romance department.
Continuing to date each other and to work on your romance is one of the keys of a successful marriage. Getting out, just the two of you, gives you time to focus on each other, to remember why you enjoy each other so much, and to interact with each other outside of washing the dishes and discussing which CD would be the best investment for you. If you have small kids, consider getting in touch with other couples in your neighborhood or religious group and offering to trade off babysitting duties with them so that they can go out too.
"10 great things that you can do with your wife on a Friday night." »
Develop your sense of humor by redefining how you react to things. Try these simple tips to get more laughter out of life:
-Look for the humor behind words, associations, and situations.
-Try finding the humor in life events that typically would frustrate you, such as traffic jams and slow service.
-Take humor breaks. We schedule coffee breaks and lunch breaks, try scheduling a humor break. Invite several co-workers to go to lunch and ask everyone who is coming to prepare to share the most humorous thing that happened to them in the last week.
-Share your humor with others. People love funny stories, cartoons, and appropriate jokes.
-Build a laugh library (i.e., funny books, tapes, cartoons, etc.).
There you are sitting alone on a Saturday nite, eating stale Doritos and watching old re-runs of Seinfeld you have already seen seven times. It would not be so bad except you have an itch, a sexual itch that is, in need of scratching.
You start flipping through your brain's Rolodex and realize other than the slightly creepy person in accounting who flirts with you, there are no real prospects on the horizon. Big time Bridget Jones' loser feelings start seeping into your every pore. Panic ensues.
Your mind wonders back to the sex you had with your last partner. Instead of remembering all the reasons you broke up, you start obsessing about their soft, warm body up against yours in your nice cozy bed.
Without thinking you pick up the phone. They answer. You try to make some small talk but it is of no use. You ask them to come over for a "drink". Both of you know that is code for, "let's have sex at least three times tonite."
Your legs raw from twitching they finally arrive. In a mad haze to rip each other's clothes off, there is little or no thought given to consequences. Your itch is about to be scratched...hopefully they will sleep over as an added bonus.
Sex with an ex. Good idea to keep your sexual juices flowing during the transition time, or bad mistake that will keep you messed up for a longer period of time. As every breakup is different, doing some analysis might save you heartache when your libido takes over your brain.
First know you are not some freak'oid because you want to have sex with the exact same person you spent days (maybe weeks) getting all bent out of shape over after the breakup. Sex can comfortably numb the I'm-a-big-fat-loser worries, pain and panic in the short term. It is convenient and semi-reliable.
Sexual boredom is epidemic in North American. Couples come to me all the time not happy with their sex life. Their symptoms usually include: they get along well, they love each other, they want to make things work, however their sex life has become routine.
There are many reasons for sexual boredom. For busy couples sexual boredom can manifest itself via hurried sex. Hurry up get your clothes off. Hurry up and get aroused. Hurry up orgasm. Just hurry up and get it over with so I can get some blessed sleep.
Sex thereby becomes not a means of creating an intimate bond, but an effective way to avoid the guilt of not having sex on a regular basis or else an effective sleeping aid.
Granted, sometimes a good old orgasm is the best thing to bring a couple closer together. Most of the time though what is needed is to slow down, take a step back and simply touch one another.
And so my suggestion to these sexually bored couples is to try new techniques that include spending a whole lot more time touching.
Inevitably they cry, "But we do cuddle and hug each other every day." They then explain their ritual of hugging each other every morning or cuddling at night in front of a television program. Cuddling and hugging are essential and wonderful touching habits that help to keep a couple close.
However touching another human's body for the purpose of soothing pleasure is a completely different dynamic. Pleasurable touch is healing, nurturing and it allows us to be closer to our significant other. Our bodies need touch, want touch and crave touch.
Regrettably, pleasurable touch is something that is taken for granted. No touch can have us become numb from our necks down, distant from our spouse, and sexually unfulfilled.
If I could write a letter to men (not all men but many men) on behalf of many women, it would go something like this.
Dear Men,
Women want sex to have a beginning, middle and end.
In chick-language, sex is a journey, not a goal oriented destination. In guy language, sex always seems to focus on the middle part: she has an orgasm, then he has an orgasm and then voila, you are done.
Do not misinterpret, women love the middle part just as much as you. However, there is so much more to sex than having an orgasm. Gasp, yes it is true.
Here are some basic rules for the not-middle-part of sex.
You really need to ask yourself: is it really a matter of you and your partner having different libidos or is "mismatched libidos" a convenient diagnosis to a deeper unresolved relationship issue?
According to Michele Weiner Davis' book The Sex Starved Marriage, one in every three married couples struggles with problems associated with mismatched libidos.
Obviously this statistic piqued my interest enough to want to write about it. Yet while doing my research a common thread became apparent: most of the time mismatched libidos have little or nothing to do with sex.
Here are a few examples:
Body issues.--One person does not feel good about their body and avoids sex. Or after gaining weight their partner no longer finds them desirable.
Prolonged unresolved issues or arguments.--There is nothing that can throw a big wet blanket over a sizzling sex-drive faster than bottled up anger.
The best way to keep it going?
Experience something new together. After you've been married many years, it may be more difficult to find things that you haven't experienced before - but open up your imagination to the infinite possibilities out there!
Whether it is something as simple as a new restaurant or a new recipe that you cook together, or as elaborate as visiting a foreign country - go on an "adventure" together where you can discover more about yourself and each other. Train a seeing-eye dog, rent a Hummer for the day, play a sexy version of monopoly, plant orchids, take a massage class - whatever it is, do it together. The process of learning is what keeps us young, and it is also what keeps our relationships fresh. We can grow together in many ways.
Twenty-five percent of married men cheat, according to a University of Chicago study. And the older they are, the more likely it is that they have had an affair. Thirty-seven percent of men in their 50s say they've had at least one affair. Fifteen percent of married women cheat. (National Health & Life Survey).
Here are some of the common signs that your partner is cheating:
Here are four steps you can take when you think your partner is cheating:
Thinking about remarrying? Consider these reasons why others have chosen not to. One out of two marriages ends in divorce. 60% of second marriages fail. 66% of marriages and living together situations end in break up according to the U.S. Census Bureau. Read more…
The “EX” Factor: Why Men and Women Over 50 Don’t Remarry
In focus groups conducted by this author with men and women over 50 and divorced, five major reasons why they don’t want to remarry surfaced. Finances are the prevalent concern of both groups.
Financial
• Debt responsibility of a new partner
• Alimony and child support payments
• Family inheritance issues
• Financial responsibility for stepchildren
• Financial responsibility for elderly parents
Health
• Deteriorating health of partner
• Caregiver responsibilities
• Lack of healthcare coverage
• Health issues of the extended family
• Differences in beliefs of medical treatment-homeopathic versus prescription medicines
"The “EX” Factor: Why Men and Women Over 50 Don’t Remarry!" »
Is it safe for a wife to be smarter than her husband?
Of course! Men who cannot afford social ornaments sometimes want inferior wives. Why? Often because they harbor a great sense of inferiority. Therefore at all economic levels there are some men who want apparently weak and docile women whom they can dominate completely, who will not put up any arguments, and who will do as they are told without any "ifs," "ands," or "buts." Likewise there are women who either want to be dominated, or who are so eager to marry that they will do so under such circumstances.
What about the "ordinary man" who has no serious feelings of inadequacy, and who cannot afford, and does not desire a social ornament? Does he demand that his wife not have too many brains?
Certainly he wants her to be intelligent enough to do her job well. He does not want to feel ashamed of her because of her stupidity. Actually, too, the marriage will turn out more successfully if the wife is smart enough to be interesting, and to help develop satisfying personal relationships.
Still, the man usually does not want to feel inferior to his wife. But feeling inferior is not the same as being inferior. Some men have a quiet pride in a wife who is smarter, provided that she is smart enough not to make him appear and feel inferior, especially in front of his friends.
At one time or another, most of us have had daydreams about winning the lottery, achieving great fame, or having the perfect partner and living happily ever after. We usually visualize our imagined future good luck as something that will unexpectedly "come out of the blue" and surprise us.
In reality, most luck is the product of lots of hard work and creative initiative. If we just wait for good things to fall into our lap without any effort on our part, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment. It's up to us to do the groundwork that will open the door for opportunity to come into our life.
A Persian saying advises, "Go and wake up your luck." To do this, we have to wake up and start taking action toward our goals. For as a Yiddish proverb admonishes, "If you want your dreams to come true, don't oversleep." It takes initiative, energy, and effort on our part to start the process of preparing the way for good things to happen.
According to Anthony Robbins, "It is in the moment of your decisions that your destiny is shaped." This means that the unfolding of our destiny is not a passive process, but rather that each day we are actively influencing what happens in our life. The good news is that if we are dissatisfied with our life, we can always make new choices and create a life that more accurately reflects who we are now and who we want to become.
These same principles are true in every aspect of your life, including your marriage. The happy marriage doesn't just happen. It requires consistent effort and initiative to solve marriage problems and reduce conflict.
During a wedding ceremony, when people are joined together in matrimony, they swear and vow to honor and respect each other and to remain partners both during good and bad times.
But in most marriages, this is not always the case.
One out of every two marriages in America is failing and will explode in divorce.
It takes two people to make a marriage succeed.
Marriages fail because of the differences in the two people involved, because of conflicts and various problems in life.
Here are some marital insights to help you to cope with a divorce announcement.
No one is perfect, and happiness in life is a matter of learning from our mistakes.
There is no greater emotional pain that can be inflicted upon a woman than the announcement by her husband that he wants a divorce.
Even if both parties have "seen it coming" for some time, and the announcement really comes as no big surprise, the actual announcement is quite similar to a bomb exploding in your face.
If you were ever in an affair suddenly or were ambushed with it then you may also experience denial. This is usually the case when someone comes to you and says that you're partner is having an affair and you say that they are not, they couldn't possibly be.
The next stage is anger. You will be angry! You have every right to be angry! Anger will take many forms and you will be angry at many people. I personally had moments when I was outright ANGRY and he knew it and other moments when I was passive aggressive. I was also angry at a lot of people. I was angry with him for having the affair, I was angry with the other woman, I was angry with all his coworkers that knew about the affair, I was even angry at his parents. Anger can be the hardest phase to get out of. For many people, staying angry is a lot easier than feeling the pain. I would start to hurt when thinking about it and I would then go straight into anger because being angry was easier than feeling the pain.
If your spouse has left you or is going to leave you, you may start bargaining. Bargaining is when you beg. Please don't leave us, what will we do with out you. How will we make it. These are all words of the person who is bargaining.
Depression is the next stage. I think that pretty much everyone knows what depression is and knows how it relates to infidelity.
Despite all the fashionable theories of marriage, the narratives and the feminists, the reasons to engage in marriage largely remain the same. True, there have been role reversals and new stereotypes have cropped up. But the biological, physiological and biochemical facts were less amenable to modern criticisms of culture. Men are still men and women are still women in more than one respect.
Men and women marry for the same reasons:
The Sexual Dyad : formed due to sexual attraction and in order to secure a stable, consistent and permanently available source of sexual gratification.
The Economic Dyad : To form a functioning economic unit within which the economic activities of the members of the dyad and of additional entrants will be concentrated. The economic unit generates more wealth than it consumes and the synergy between its members is likely to lead to gains in production and in productivity relative to individual efforts and investment.
The Social Dyad : The members of the couple bond as a result of implicit or explicit, direct, or indirect social pressure. This pressure can manifest itself in numerous forms. In Judaism, a person cannot belong to some religious vocations, unless he is married. This is economic pressure. In most human societies, avowed bachelors are considered to be socially deviant and abnormal. They are condemned by society, ridiculed, shunned and isolated, effectively ex-communicated. Partly to avoid these sanctions and partly to enjoy the warmth provided by conformity and acceptance, couples marry. Today, a myriad of lifestyles is on offer. The old fashioned, nuclear marriage is one of many variants. Children are reared by single parents. Homosexual couples abound. But in all this turbulence, a pattern is discernible : almost 95% of the adult population gets married ultimately. They settle into a two-member arrangement, whether formalized and sanctioned religiously or legally - or not.
"Family Cycle - Euphoric and Dysphoric Cycles in Marriage" »
Planning a bridal shower? Maybe a dear friend or even sister is getting married and you are in charge of planning the bridal shower? Bridal showers are customary and traditional. They aren't all about the bridal shower gifts though! They are a way to welcome new family members and celebrate a new beginning for the couple. But, they can also be fun if planned to be.
Start with the bridal shower invitations. You can purchase these from any department store with a card section or you can make them yourself using the computer. Either way, make them bright and colorful. Next consider what bridal shower games you might play. Some bridal showers are formal in that there are large amounts of people and a nice dinner atmosphere. Then, there are those that are more relaxed and laid back. At these, bridal shower games would work well. You can find games to play at the craft store or search for free bridal shower games online.
More things to consider when planning a bridal shower are bridal shower favors and even bridal shower themes. Many couples have a theme for their entire wedding. While this can simply be nothing more then a color pattern, they can also be characters and ideas. An example would be a Disney theme or a dove theme. Incorporate this theme into the bridal shower is possible.
No one wants to pay more than they have to for anything, especially something as costly as a wedding. And if you’re like me, and you had to foot your own bill, then you certainly want to keep costs down. I was afraid it couldn’t be done, especially since my husband and I live in one of the most expensive regions of the country. But my wedding is proof that it can be done, and here’s how:
Reception Venue
Look for non-profit organizations that host wedding receptions, since their rental fees are extremely reasonable. And many of them - the American Legion is one example - have gorgeous, well-maintained facilities. If you prefer an outdoor wedding, then skip the country club and go to a state or national park, where you can get beautiful landscapes at a fraction of the cost.
Catering
Many rental halls offer full-service catering, which includes linens and tableware, wait staff, all food prep and cleanup, etc. But unless you’re at a non-profit (which hopefully you are, if you followed step #1), then this can be extremely expensive. Try to find a smaller catering company that typically does at-home meal service, since they know how to do things on a budget. And they are sure to give you excellent customer service.
When two people - destined for each other, come together, there is often an incredible amount of combustibility. Combustion occurs when two or more substances react chemically together, resulting in the giving off of heat and light; often called burning. In the same manner, two people joined together by God can spiritually set each other on fire.
However, after being married a while that sense of combustibility can easily be lost if the spiritual life of the marriage is not cultivated. But, a couple that intentionally, and actively engages in maintaining the spiritual life of the marriage continues to be a strength one to another, and ignites new sparks that blazes through every area of marriage and family. I believe that through personal devotion, mutual support, joint devotions, spiritual dialogue, and spiritual activities, a Christian couple can maintain spiritual intimacy in their marriage.
First, each spouse must keep their fire burning. Each partner keeps their fire burning by maintaining a growing and intimate relationship with the Lord Jesus, through personal prayer and Bible study. When we first got married, my wife and I mistakenly thought we could depend on each other’s spiritual life for our personal growth. I thought to myself “my wife is such a great Christian, she will be able to help me solve my spiritual struggles”. The mistake we made was instead of pursuing the Lord for our personal growth, we began to depend on each other. Eventually instead of helping, we began to drain each other. What we learned is that we must maintain intimacy with the Lord in order to have true spiritual intimacy with each other.
One of my favorite memories from last year was not watching my young daughters rip into their Christmas presents, or seeing them perform in the school talent show. No, my happiest recollection was the date my husband and I went out on one stormy Tuesday night in November.
A few days before, we'd had our fill of running the girls to swimming lessons and fighting with them to do their homework. We could not endure the sight of one more PTA notice requesting money for this fundraiser or attendance at that meeting. We broke. We called a sitter and reserved a table at the most elegant restaurant in town.
And what a night it was. The sitter was late, of course, and the wind snapped off tree branches and hurled them at our car, but we made it. The food, the wine, and the service were fine. We put the children firmly out of our minds. By the time the salad came, we were sufficiently unwound.
We started having fun. We were laughing. The subjects of the weird charge on our cell phone bill or our dire need for a new refrigerator never entered the discussion. We were transformed into the couple we used to be before children, two cars, and a mortgage. We were footloose, fancy free, and out for a good time.
Have you ever had to give a wedding speech? As the groom or best man?
Do you remember that feeling? A knot in the stomach, sweaty palms and a panic attack!
Not a very pleasant experience. And yet, I'm sure your wedding speech has the potential to be a great success because 90 % of a typical audience want the speaker to succeed.
Yet according to the Book of Lists, speaking in public is one of our greatest fears.
Much of this anxiety is due to a lack of confidence in writing and preparing a speech rather than in the delivery.
What are the secrets of giving a great wedding speech?
Here are 10 tips for giving a great wedding speech:
1. Have a plan and set some objectives & outcomes. There is nothing worse than not knowing what you want to achieve. Do you want to be funny, thank the caterers or touch the emotions of your guests? Before anything work out what you want to achieve.
"Wedding Speeches Made Easy: Wedding Speech or Best Man's Speech Tips" »
The biggest problem long-distance spouses often face is how to keep emotional intimacy alive when they are separated. If you are in a long-distance marriage, you are probably already using email and the telephone as much as possible to stay in touch. But what else can you do to stay connected with your partner and not lose that special bond between you?
One suggestion is to take the extra time to also send "snail mail" greeting cards, letters, and postcards when possible. Buy an assortment of cards when you have a chance, and that will make it easier to send out one or two cards each week. Vary the type of cards that you send--some romantic, some funny. You could also send postcards to add variety and show scenes of the geographic area where you are working.
In your letters and emails, don't only talk about what activities you've been involved in, but be sure to share your feelings about what's going on in your life. Ask feeling-related questions, such as "Do you ever worry that one day we'll have been married 20 years and we'll discover that we don't really know each other?" Also share memories and experiences from childhood and the years before you met.
Write your spouse a letter telling her (or him)what you love about her,what attracted you to her, what you admire about her, and why you want to stay married to her. Before you send it to her, make a copy for yourself and read it once a day to remind yourself of all the positives about your spouse. Ask her to do the same for you.
"How to Nurture Intimacy When You're in a Long-Distance Marriage" »
Not only do individuals who follow Time Magazine’s “Eight Steps Toward a More Satisfying Life” suggestions (Time, January 17, 2005, p. A8-A9) increase their own level of happiness, they also increase the odds that they can keep their marriage.
The same actions that can lead to a more satisfying life are the ones that can help to improve a troubled marriage. Two of the Time suggestions are to count your blessings by keeping a gratitude journal and to learn to forgive.
These same steps are necessary to maximize a spouse’s efforts to cope with a marriage that is in danger of falling apart. In their book Keep Your Marriage: What To Do When Your Spouse says “I don’t love you anymore” co-authors Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D. and Lee Hefner also advise spouses to keep a gratitude journal.
According to Wasson and Hefner, this might seem like a strange recommendation, but it’s when things aren’t going well that you most need to look for the positive things that are present in your life. They write, “A gratitude journal gives you a nudge to remind yourself of the many blessings already present in your life...Being aware of your blessings gives you a broader, more balanced perspective of your life.”
"New Findings on Happiness Have Implications for Rocky Marriages" »
Most people are aware that significant wedding anniversaries such as 25th and 40th are linked to precious stones, in these cases silver and ruby. However, it is less well known that all anniversaries up to and including the 15th, and then every 5th anniversary, have their own particular symbol. The list below shows the symbol traditionally associated with each anniversary.
ANNIVERSARY
1st - Paper
2nd - Cotton
3rd - Leather
4th - Books
5th - Wood
Let's face it, not many of us have the kind of skills or experience to write truly poetic wedding vows. Or do we? Here's the truth: Even if you don't know Dylan Thomas from Bob Dylan, and you're pretty sure T.S. Elliot was that guy who wrote the words to Andrew Lloyd Weber's "Cats," all is not lost! In fact, there are ways to learn to write the words you want. With four simple steps, you can take what you feel in your heart and make it come out as sweetly as any Shakespearean sonnet.
Step 1: Decide on a theme
Finding a theme should arguably be the easiest part of writing poetry for your wedding vows. But you don't want to be stuck with something trite or cliche, even though the theme of romantic love is probably the oldest known for poetry. There are lots of ways to avoid writing the same old "roses are red, violets are blue" type of poem. One trick the pros use is to envision what a newspaper article about your relationship would say. Would it discuss how and where you met? How your relationship has stayed strong, even during the hard times? What your love has meant to one another? Since newspaper articles get right to the point, this exercise can help you pick out an overriding theme for your vows.
Getting the right type of divorce advice depends on what type of divorce advice you want and what you want to use it for. When looking for divorce advice, it is smart to clearly define what you are seeking the advice for so you can be sure to look in the right places.
Seems simple enough right?
Yes, but...lots of people who are deciding about divorce and seeking divorce advice lump the categories of divorce advice into one, and that's a big mistake. You should seek divorce advice from different types of places for the different types of advice that you need. Certainly there's more types of divorce advice categories, but here's a partial list:
Divorce advice type 1:
Legal advice for getting a divorce when you are sure that you want a divorce, no matter how tough it will be to get that divorce.
When asking for this type of divorce advice while meeting with an attorney, you may be asked if you're certain that you actually do want a divorce…if you do, don't waver, stick to your decision. It makes sense to have a good idea of all of the parts of your life, family and materials, that could be affected or sought after. You want to have your facts, account names, timelines, etc., in mind when meeting with the attorney so that your discussion is maximized.
"Divorce Advice: Getting Divorce Advice From the Right Source" »
Having to deal with an extramarital affair can be a life-changing event, regardless of whether you stay married or not. Inescapable feelings can come over both people who live through an extramarital affair that will never be forgotten by either of them. The person who actually had the extramarital affair can have feelings of guilt, loneliness, confusion and misdirection along with many other feelings. The 'partner' who did not have the extramarital affair can have these feelings as well, but the lack of confidence that can come as a result of the other person having an extramarital affair can be one of the toughest parts to deal with.
The feelings that come as a result of one or both parties having an extramarital affair are natural but can also be extensions of something much deeper. Of course, if someone has an extramarital affair, both people in that marriage will have feelings that will be "surface level" only at first. Arguments can occur, denial may set in, and/or tempers can flare due to the extramarital affair. While these things are only natural and to be expected, if your going to actually survive an extramarital affair, you must look at the deeper issues and get down to the real cause of the affair and what to do about it.
Copyright © 2005-2009 by Breakthrough Consulting, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
