How to make your spouse your best friend again
It is said that you should marry your best friend, and for a truly successful marriage, it will be between two friends. There is saying after saying, and study after study that shows you should be friends first, and lovers second. However, often times in marriage we get caught up in life and forget to do things to strengthen our friendships with our spouses. The result? Your spouse is no longer your best friend, rather your spouse becomes more like a roommate. So, how can you make your spouse your best friend again? Well, how do you make anyone your best friend? Take those principles, and apply them in your relationship.
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- Talk. Remember back in high school and junior high when you first realized the value of the telephone. Most girls can remember hours spent on the phone with this or that friend, and this or that crush. Guys, you talked on the phone too. You were not old enough to, or allowed to stay out really late, so instead you would yak and yak all night on the phone. You talked to your friends about everything, and there wasn't anything you did not talk to your best friend about. Well, why does that have to change? Granted, you do not have to be on the phone, but you do need to talk. If you want your spouse to be your best friend again, it is time to revert back to those days of talking about everything just to express yourself. Don't know what to talk about? Try any or all of the following, hopefully before the list of ideas runs out, you will have come up with some of your own topics.
- The weather, how it makes you feel, how happy or unhappy you are about it, how it affects your daily life, commute, etc.
- Politics, it does not have to be an election year. Just talk about things you like about this administration, and what you hope to see the country, military, etc. do in the future.
- Memories. You can initiate a fun conversation about memories. Start it out with, "How did you feel the first time we kissed?" "What was your first impression of me, and how did it change?" "What was your favorite date we ever went on?" Etc.
- Sports. This can be the main topic of conversation, or a fall back. While it is a generalization, most guys like sports, so if he was with his guy friends, they would likely watch, listen to, talk about, or play sports, so now you can talk about that.
- Friends. This does not mean gossip. In fact, you should always focus on positives in your relationship. An occasional vent is fine, but to be best friends you need to talk about the good along with the bad. So, talk about things you enjoy doing with friends, etc.
- Spend time with just each other. If you always have friends around, you generally strengthen your friendships with them, but not as much with one another, so do things in groups, but be sure to reserve some time for just you two.
- Call him or her at work. You would call your best friend during a long work day, even if they were busy, so call your spouse too. Show them you care by caring enough to call for no reason other than an "I love you" or an "I miss you".
- Surprises. Did you ever throw a surprise party for your best friend? Why not use that same idea and do nice things and have surprises for your spouse? This will improve your friendship because surprises are generally unselfish.
- Think of their needs. Being selfish ruins friendships, and marriages, so while your needs are important, you should also focus on theirs. When you go to the store, be sure to check with them to see if they need anything. Ask what they would want for dinner, etc.
- Be trust worthy, and extend trust. Friendships that are good.best friends.require a certain element of trust, and trustworthiness. Your spouse needs to be sure that you are not going to embarrass them if they tell you about the zit on their butt, or their sexual fantasies, or their fears. So, be trustworthy, but also, be open and extend trust with your spouse as well.
